Gaaay

The following is something I wrote almost a year ago, following the repeated pejorative use of the word gay in the WoW guild I was in then. The guild has since disbanded, a month or two or so after this was written. Regardless, the content is still interesting, I think, no matter the reason I first wrote it.

Before I begin, I’d like it if I’m allowed to finish before anyone comments or asks questions about what I mean, I spent some time writing this earlier today, so hopefully I will express myself clearly and minimize the need to explain myself afterwards.

Firstly allow me to start with a warning. What I am about to say contains opinions, strong opinions at that, it may also include words that are offensive to most people, but that’s what I*m going to be talking about anyway, so I hope you will bear with me.

Also, I will post a copy of this on the forums.
Secondly I would like to say that, normally, I care very little for being politically correct. There are several reasons for this, mostly, however, it is because it can limit our ability to express ourselves to an insane degree, and, frankly, make language incredibly boring – something it is NOT!

When I am around family and, especially, close friends who I know and care about, I can and will say things that, on the surface, are incredibly offensive to some people. However, because those are people I know so well, and they know me, it is not a problem, why? Because they know that I mean it as no more than a joke.

But when I am around people I know less well, such as most people in this guild, I am more mindful of how I express myself. This is because I do not know you people, I do not know what you think and believe about religion, politics or practically anything that is actually important.

So, when I am around people I don’t know as well as I know my close friends and family, I will never call someone “gay” as the insult it is often used as.

And yes, the word “gay” and its use, is precisely what this is about, and in a minute I will look at what it means, but first I will explain why I would not use it like that when around, for example, you people.

I do it around my friends, because I know that none of us actually have anything against people who are homosexual, and we all know we only use it in good fun – so it is safe to use without insulting anyone.

However, when in the guild or other places with people I know less intently, I avoid it, why? Because I do not know how any of you view being homosexual, and more importantly I do not know if any of you ARE homosexual. I do not wish to inadvertently insult anyone who might be gay by using the word in its insult form (yes, I will look at the word soon enough). And it IS insulting to use people’s sexual orientation as an insult.

Anyway, before I continue this, let us look at the word. The word “gay” means several things; however, I think it is safe to limit it to THREE different meanings and uses. Firstly there is the old meaning, which sees relatively little use today, that meaning is “bright,”  “happy” and “lively” – adjectives.

Secondly the word means “homosexual” – noun, this is a newer meaning, and sees far more widespread use today – in fact, you almost never hear the first meaning, though you could argue that “gay” actually means “proud, happy homosexual.”

The final meaning and use of the word is “homosexual, and thus stupid, inferior and generally bad” – adjective. This last one is the problem I’m talking about here.

The reason I am saying all this here, now to all of you, is that recently I have seen the word used in the negative third meaning several times, and I do not think that is acceptable in an environment where you do not know if you will hurt other people by using a sexual orientation as an insult.

When I called the person down on it, it was excused as “slang where I come from” and “I can’t help how I speak”
I will deal with the two separately, if you don’t mind.
First the slang excuse, the weaker of the two. It may be used widely like that where you live, but it is still a word used across the world, and NEWSFLASH! it is used in the same way across the world, too. It is not slang where you come from, it is used practically everywhere people know some English. But that’s not really what makes it a weak excuse; you still use the word, and people’s sexual orientation, as an insult. Slang can be insults too.
And allow me to restate an example I made when first arguing about this: If it is ok to use gay/homosexual as an insult by naming the use “slang,” is it ok with other words too, then?

What about “you stupid nigger”? I mean, it’s just slang, I don’t mean black people, I just use a derogative term for them in an insulting way – do you think they would like that? I know I don’t like it, and I’m not even black… or am I?

When I made that example, someone told me it was different, because there was a difference in having another skin colour and defying nature’s laws – I will return to that comment as soon as I have commented on the other excuse:

“I can’t help how I speak.” Now, if you have a Determinist belief, that’s true. To be sure everyone knows what I mean, Determinism is basically the belief that there is no free will, and that all actions are predetermined – basically you are watching your life as you live it, not making any real choices yourself.
Personally I have an Existentialist view of the world, so obviously I do not agree with such a view, I believe strongly in free will and our ability to make our own choices.

And frankly, with just minimal effort, you CAN think before you talk, and moderate it slightly based on your surroundings – if not I would dare say that you are extraordinarily weak of will, and somewhat insensitive. Whether you were destined to think before talking, or chose to do it, is irrelevant for this discussion.

Now, then, what can I say about the comment about defying nature by being homosexuality? To be honest, the short reply is “it’s not relevant to this discussion.” The statement is obviously very controversial, and I disagree strongly with it.

However, even if you believe this, or maybe you think homosexuality is the Black Plague of the 21^st century? That belief need not make you use the word as an insult – you don’t walk around calling people “stupid as a cancer patient” do you? So, even if you think homosexuals are sick or defying nature, there’s no reason to insult them, is there? Do you mock the victims of a traffic accident? I hope you don’t.

Frankly, even if you hold such narrow-minded views, there’s no reason to rude about it, so keep your medieval mentality to yourself, thank you very much.

As a side-note, if you happen to hold the belief that being homosexual makes people “less manly,” I can only suggest that you spend a little less time on this game, and spend some time reading about ancient Sparta instead, who knows, you might learn something.

I have talked for a long time now, but I strongly believe these things needed to be said. I want to mention two more things, and then I will stop, I promise.

A few times while discussing this yesterday, I was called “Mr. Political.” It is true that the question of homosexuality is a fairly loaded subject politically and religiously, however, I don’t think I have argued it in a political way today, or yesterday. The entire issue I have been focused around has not been whether you should like homosexuals or not, it has been that you should not insult them just because you can’t accept them. I don’t see that as a particularly political agenda, I see it as a humane agenda.

Besides, if saying these things makes me “Mr. Political,” it makes the other person “Mr. Idiot.” Some of you will be thinking “what is he talking about? That’s arrogant!” And yes, it is arrogant, but those of you who know your languages also know it is TRUE. The original meaning of the word idiot is literally someone who is not interested in politics – so live with the label, Mr. Idiot.

On that note, the disease or Black Plague of the 21^st century is neither homosexuality (it has been around for millennia) nor obesity – it is apathy and disinterest in important issues.

That’s all the preaching I’m going to do today, and hopefully for a good long time.

All that’s left to say now, is that I greatly enjoy this guild, but if certain people do not change, or leave, I will seriously reconsider my membership, and likely leave at some point or another.

I wouldn’t like to do that, but I wouldn’t want to stay somewhere where the things I’ve described are acceptable.